When you get married, you will be asked 394020934 times, "So how many kids do ya'll want?".
It is something you will probably think of and (hopefully) talk about with your spouse before getting married. When you find the right person, it really is hard NOT to imagine raising perfect tiny little humans with them!😍
I am the third kid of four girls and Carson is the third of three boys and one girl-- pretty crazy!
Naturally, we both loved the idea of having a big family one day!
When it came time to actually start our family, we had some trouble getting pregnant. We decided to see a fertility specialist just to make sure everything was okay and we were actually able to make babies. They suggested that I get my tubes flushed out(which I did) and BAM, I got pregnant that month right after the procedure! We were SO excited to get that positive pregnancy test!
The pregnancy was not a textbook pregnancy like we had assumed it would be. At our 20-week anatomy scan, they found some issues with the baby's head shape and referred us to a specialist. My doctor put me on bed-rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, and I had appointments every several days to check my amniotic fluid. We found out that the baby's head shape was off because there was not enough amniotic fluid around the baby and her head. I and ended up being hospitalized at 30 weeks when the fluid got extremely low. My doctors decided it was time to take the baby out via c-section at 34 weeks.
On May 8, 2015 we had a tiny 4 pound baby, Saylor Aryah Sands. She went straight to the NICU and was in critical condition for about 2 weeks. She stayed in the NICU for a month total followed by a very tough first year.
I remember feeling SO many emotions when Saylor turned one! It had been a hell of a year leading up to that birthday party. The pregnancy, the NICU stay, her heath issues following a premature birth, breastfeeding struggles, physical therapy for a 3-month-old, colic, reflux, and so much more!
It felt like we had been running a marathon that I had never signed up for.... On that day I just felt exhausted.
After that year, I wasn't sure if there would every be more Sands babies in our future. I felt beaten down and many times wondered HOW THE HECK our parents survived raising FOUR babies. I wondered if I just didn't have what it took to be a great Mom of a large family....
After Saylor turned one, we sold our house and moved for a fresh start, but things got SO busy at work and Saylor was sick almost the entire winter after we put her in full-time daycare. We did not talk about expanding our family again for a long time, and I had pretty much let go of the "big family" idea.
Some time right before Saylor turned 2, it all somehow became a bit easier. I don't think our life got much easier (we were still working crazy hours and the tax busy season was BRUTAL), but we somehow were able to juggle it all bit better.
We went on a much needed mom-and-dad trip for a few days and were able to talk about the future. Surprisingly, we agreed that we did still want Saylor to have a sibling despite the struggles we had. Though is was all harder than we had EVER imagined, it was worth EVERY single bad day to have our baby girl. We both agreed we wanted to have another baby...at least one more.
We got pregnant a few months after that conversation and were both pretty shocked that it happened so quickly. Unfortunately, we did have the same issues again during the second pregnancy(though we were told that it was very unlikely).
I was seeing a specialist several times a week by the second trimester to check fluid levels and growth of the baby. We had several scares along the way, but I found we were able to deal with it all so much better than we did the first time. Yes, we were scared, but we had SO much faith that it would all be okay. I knew in the end it would all be worth it.
Slate Rowan Sands was taken via c-section at 36 weeks due to low amniotic fluid (just like his sister) on December 8th, 2017. He had a one week NICU stay that felt like a breeze compared to Saylor's month-long hospitalization. We took him home to join our crazy family and have been loving on him now for 9 months!
My thought every day for the past 9 months:
How in the heck did we ever life without this boy in our lives?
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| Newborn baby Slate Rowan Sands |
My heart, abilities, patience, and endurance have all grown so much these past 9 months as a Mom of two. They have not been easy months, but they have been SO rewarding. Slate has been in physical therapy and has had a rough start to life just like Saylor did. We didn't get it "easy" either time, but we have the most-perfect little humans to love on each and every day!
So here we are once again having the talk about expanding our family for baby Sands #3.....
Most people think we are absolutely crazy, but we will be trying for #3 (and possibly final) Sands baby in one more month! We know it will be hard, expensive, exhausting, scary....the list goes on. BUT we also know that it will be SO worth it and that we are more-than-capable of doing it together.
Carson and I stick together when we face fear. We tag-team bedtime and toddler melt-downs. We have each other through this whole season of life.
All of these words and this story to say one thing. Raising babies is HARD. Making a family is HARD. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, disciplining, potty training...ALL are more difficult than you can imagine. It took me years to realize this. The conclusion that we came to was that we will do the hard work now to grow our family, and something SO beautiful will come from all of our hard work. We are already seeing our hard work pay off each time we look at our sweet babies💓
Things in life that are worth anything are not EASY.
If you are ever in this situation wondering how in the HECK we raised all of you kids....I want you to know that it was not easy!
It was SO incredibly hard.
BUT it was SO incredibly worth it! I would do it all over again one million times if that is what I had to do for this family.💓💓💓💓💓
Love,
MOM
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